Gluten slave

MONDAY:  This mornings breakfast consisted of a lot of mmmm’s & ahhhh’s!  We ALL had fruit smoothies, 1 veggie pattie & 1 wheat & gluten free waffle. SUNDAY: I think I read somewhere that people should have a protein shake before every meal. I Googled protein smoothie vs fruit smoothie & decided to go with the fruit.

1. I didn’t want to spend a gazillion dollars on protein powder.

2. I didn’t want Chloe walking around saying I pick things up & put them down.

3. I don’t know how the protein powders would affect the girls. But whatever. So I ask the children their opinion on having a smoothie before every meal to help fill them, thus eating less food! We came to the realization that every meal wasn’t going to work. Breakfast yes. There was no way it could work for lunch, because they’re at school. Before dinner was a strong maybe. Chloe then decides that she doesn’t like smoothies.  Me: Chloe, when have you ever had a smoothie? Her: umm, remember, umm, BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH, I don’t know, but I don’t think that I like it!………Bitch, what? Seriously? Me: for such a picky child, you should seriously be bony! Her: bitch, what? Seriously?
Online I find recipes that are gluten & dairy free(I’ll tell you why later). We’re all excited about the varieties of fruit smoothies we can make. I go to target first. I’m looking for gluten free(I’ll tell you why in a little bit) waffles, pasta, flour. Anything? I only find waffles. I also buy blackberries & raspberries(neither of which I’ve ever eaten). I figure I can toss it in a smoothie & it will be ok. I then go to my local Pathmark, also looking for anything that doesn’t contain wheat(didn’t I say that I would tell you shortly). Gluten free flour-NO. Gluten free pasta-NO. Waffles-NO. Sigh!!!!! I buy milk, coconut milk and then I hit the produce aisle. I get pineapple, bananas, strawberries, mangoes, watermelon, granny smith apples, spinach & cantaloupe. There was a listeria or e-coli scare with cantaloupe not too long ago, so I’m a little apprehensive. Deciding whether to die from obesity or a food born illness is a toss up. I KID, I KID. I was also looking for dairy free yogurt. SOLD OUT! Seriously? Yup! Whatever! Back home we go!
Back to Monday: Chloe is the first to try her banana strawberry smoothie & she loves it. She actually says “I can have this everyday!” I’m all shock & awe! After that & her breakfast, she announces that she is…….wait for it……FULL! Wow, let’s hope this is the breakthrough that I needed. Chanei also enjoys a large glass & is full!
Spring of 2011, I started breaking out in hives & started having trouble breathing. My PCP drew my blood to test for possible allergens. The test came back positive for cats, mold, shrimp, dust, roaches, DOGS & WHEAT among other things.  Dogs, you say! I work with two of the most sheddingest(Yeah, sheddingest. I coined that term.)dogs on the planet.  My boss has two Shiba Inu dogs. TWO!! In his defense, since I started breaking out, he has bought an air purifier, he keeps the dogs away from my desk(sometimes) and he bought an arsenal of homeopathic allergy medication for moi.  He’s done everything except leave the dogs home.Whatever!

Wheat, you say! Everything has wheat in it. EVERYTHING!!! I need to now embrace a gluten free lifestyle! AARRGGGHHH!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whatever!

I was sent to an allergist, where I was first tested for environmental allergens. I cannot begin to name the amount of things I’m allergic to. I was pricked in each arm with 24 different allergens. That is 48 pin marks. 48!!! I was allergic to all! Breathing tests were done, and revealed that I have allergy induced asthma. I was given a prescription for an inhaler, an epi-pen & some allergy medication. Food tests are administered & I don’t react as badly to that. The Dr. suggests I start immunotherapy. I’m handed a pamphlet & given another appointment for some other torture tests. Of course I go home & do my research on this IM-MU-NO-THERAPY!(BOOMING ANNOUNCER VOICE). I would have to be injected……..wait for it……..with the things I’m allergic to once a week, every week, for a year! What??????? That is some medieval bullshit! What? Then after that first year, I would be injected every other week! I don’t know about all that mess man! To date I still haven’t started immunotherapy. The hives have calmed down some, but not enough to keep me a happy camper.

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V Day!

Today is Valentines day or Single Awareness day, whichever you choose to call it.  Nothing terribly exciting happened. I don’t have a date, so I’m home alone.  The girls have gone to dinner with their Knuckle dragging neanderthal daddy…………..

I got on the scale this morning and was down to 182lbs.  I managed to get Chanei on the scale.  She wouldn’t let me see, but says she has gained ONLY 4lbs. ONLY???  Sometimes, I get so frustrated.  I want my girls to live a happy, healthy life.  I don’t want them to be bullied, teased or even ashamed of who they are.  I’m constantly telling them how smart, talented and pretty they are.  They seem to be very comfortable in their skin.  I’m wondering if they’re too comfortable.  Sometimes I want them to see what I see!

I want to cry!  I want to scream!!  I just want things to be RIGHT!!!  I feel like I’m in over my head.  I want to give up and just let them eat whatever they want, and lay around and do nothing all day!  But I can’t!!  I know I can’t!!

I’d rather have them hate me now for taking away the McDonald’s and making them do the 3 mile Juvenile Diabetes Walk, instead of hating me when they’re adults with High Blood Pressure, High Cholesterol, Diabetes or Hypertension!

It’s HARD!! But I’m going to put on my big girl pants and make it happen!

I came across two little gadgets that I’m contemplating buying

What do you think?



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What we’ve been up to?

I know ALL my blog followers (Yolanda) have been wondering what we’ve been up to!! So, I’ll tell you(Yolanda).  Blogging had gotten a little difficult-all three posts. When I first started blogging, my intention was really to post every weekend.  That got crazy in 2.3 seconds.

Chanei is doing her High School thing: going to the movies with her besties, playing handball in the park, doing her mandatory volunteer work for High School credits, and occasionally jumping on our elliptical machine.  Chanei refuses to get on the scale around me……?? Okay!?

Chloe is an extremely intelligent little girl.  Really bright.  She is in the 5th grade of a gifted and talented school.  In order to move on to a specialized Middle School, she has to take entrance exams.  For EVERY specialized Middle School on our list.  Thankfully it was only five.  She was also afforded the opportunity to test for Prep for Prep.  Prep for Prep is a leadership development program that offers promising students of color access to a private school education and life changing opportunities.   So literally every weekend has been an exam, an interview, an IQ test, an information session or a meet and greet. CRAZY.COM.  There was one Saturday where she had an entrance exam in the morning and an IQ test in the afternoon.  Her weekday schedule is pretty crazy also.  Between dance class, drumming class(she signed herself up for that) and performing at the United Nations—I don’t think you heard me. MY CHILD HAD A DANCE PERFORMANCE AT THE UNITED NATIONS!!, the week gets a little nuts.  But I have to say, she hasn’t lost any weight and she, thankfully hasn’t gained any either.

My daddy, who if you remember, cooks dinner for us every Sunday, was admitted in the hospital for observation.  He, this year will be 83 years young.  We walks about twenty blocks every day, and on one of his walks started having chest pains.  He went to the hospital and was admitted immediately.  Stress test after stress test was administered.  After a week, he was discharged with a diagnosis of take-it-easy-your-ass-is-too-damn-old-for-all-the-things-you-want-to-do-itis! But on a serious note I loooovvvveeee my daddy and wouldn’t know what to do with my life without him.  Boy was I stressed out!!

Speaking of stress: I have two children-STRESS. One of which, I’m taking all over the city for examapalooza-STRESS.  My daddy sick in the hospital-STRESS.  Work-STRESS. STRESS. STRESS.

I went to this thrift store out in New Jersey, and later that evening I had the worst cough known to anyone that didn’t have TB.  This cough lasted for about 4-5 weeks.  What cough lasts that long? Thank GOD it did?  I, who never has time to go the DR., went to the doctor.  Blood pressure through the roof!!!!  What? I have never, ever had high blood pressure in my life!!  Dr. asks what is going in my life! I tell her about everything.  She instructs me to stop eating salt, Adobo, Lawry’s seasoned salt…….. Lawry’s Seasoned Salt??? I chuckle!

Dr: what is so funny?

Carolyn: Ummm, could my recent meal choices have raised my blood pressure?

Dr: What have you been eating?

Carolyn: Five Guys French Fries! Everyday for about 6 weeks!(Excuse us please)

The Dr. proceeds to speak to me like a child.  Not only do I have high blood pressure, I’ve also gained 10lbs.   The Dr. gives me the DASH meal plan booklet(that I didn’t even bother to look at) and demands that I follow it.  She demands that I lose some weight and be back in her office in two weeks. I’m back in her office three weeks later with slightly lower pressure and I have lost 6lbs. Yay me!! I’m so happy!! The Dr. is not pleased at all.  My pressure is not low enough for her liking and she still wants me to lose more weight. OK!  I have 1 month to get my pressure back down to normal and be back to my 182lbs or she is putting me on medication. MEDICATION???

So, that’s what we’ve been up to Yolanda!  I take the honorable oath to be a better blogger!

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Showdown at the breakfast table

I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned in any previous post, that Chloe would be the one to give me the biggest fight. Well, truer words were never spoken. Slowly but surely, I’ve been trying to eliminate certain foods & ingredients out of the house. If its out of the house, its out of their mouths, or so me thinks! I was snooping looking through her book bag the other day and came across contraband.
There was a juice box and a bag of potato chips. Now don’t get me wrong. I know they’re children and they’re going to want to eat what their friends eat. I understand that. I only ask that we do it once a week.  Preferably on the weekend, & we choose together what said snack will be. But, oh no, that wasn’t good enough for little miss Chloe.
So this morning, breakfast was supposed to be 1 banana & 1 glass of water to start the day. Then 1 sausage link & 1 waffle.
Banana & water. Check.  Sausage & WAFFLES. Check……Check? WAFFLES with an S! As in more than 1! What????

ME: Chloe, you’re not eating two waffles. CHLOE: Why not????

Why Not????? Never in ten trillion years, could I have even thought to ask my mother, WHY NOT!!!………. I would still have been picking up my teeth!

This is going to be harder than I thought!!

Needless to say, She didn’t eat the two waffles.  We both left the house pissed off!!!

For dinner there was a field greens salad with an extra small portion of Ziti.  The Ziti was made with lean ground turkey, part skim mozzarella, part skim ricotta and……….CHOPPED SPINACH!!!  No fighting, No argument, No fuss. *Please notice that dinner is served on small dishes.  The salad is on a saucer and the Ziti is in a small Pyrex dish.

I’m hoping to make baked eggs for tomorrows breakfast.  Wish me us luck!

We survived the holidays!

Thanksgiving and HaKwanamas(Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and Christmas) are now over! We survived the bumpy ride, without too many bruises.

OK, so where do I start? My mother who lives out of town, came in the Wednesday before thanksgiving.  My mother and I don’t really have a relationship or even really speak for that matter.  But, for the sake of the girls(who love her miserable ass to pieces), I TRY!  So, mother comes to town & begins cooking up a storm.

So, if I never utter a word to let her know that the children have health issues, you would think just looking at them would be ENOUGH!!! But, oh no. Mother starts throwing down in the kitchen. She comes with the food that is going to be prepared for thanksgiving dinner and food to stock my kitchen, because clearly I don’t buy grocery. But whatever!!!

She has a sweet potato pie, a coconut custard pie, fish, turkey and blocks and blocks of cheese. W..T..F?? So for Thanksgiving mother cooks a HUGE pan of baked Mac ‘n Cheese, rice with peas and the turkey. What? I’m sorry I can’t hear you! Oh, where were the vegetables? Vegetables! When FOOD=LOVE, healthy foods are not usually part of the equation.

Yes, Yes, Yes, I know what you’re thinking.  I spoke to the girls before Thanksgiving even came around.  I told them to remember their portions and to keep their water intake really high.  While I was around, they did very well.

We don’t usually have company over for Thanksgiving dinner, except for the occasional passerby.  I think my mother cooks to get under my skin!  Thanksgiving dinner was OK.

Friday morning, I take the girls for a nice long walk.  Upon our return, Mother is in the kitchen cooking……….again…….(insert crickets right <=====here). Luckily the girls didn’t want the food, which of course hurts Mothers feelings, because FOOD=LOVE.

Mother, unbeknownst to me has seasoned and parceled out chicken and fish to store away in the freezer.  Saturday afternoon she leaves and I breathe a sigh of relief.

Bump bump. Bump bump. Bump bump.

Two Doctors enter the room where we are seated.  A male and a female.  Why, OH WHY do I automatically assume that Dr. Duper is a man(I don’t know, but that is a story for another blog).  She walks in and her long, sable tresses bounce playfully on her left shoulder.  She introduces herself and her colleague.  She explains to the children what she is about to do.   She exchanges pleasantries with me, putting me at ease.

Her colleague takes Chanei next door and I stay with Chloe.  Chloe removes her shoes and shirt.  All sort of tubes, pads and sticky notes are attached to her chest.  We listen for her heartbeat.  She smiles when she hears the bump bump. Bump bump. Bump bump.  Everything checks out A.O.K.  Thank GOD!  I was really scared about hearts being checked out!  But my fears have been unwarranted, thus far.   Dr. Duper removes the jumper cables from Chloe and tells us to get dressed, while she checks on Chanei.   Chanei takes a little longer with her exam, which of course makes me uncomfortable.  The Dr., her Colleague, and Chanei finally emerge, after three days(OK 20-25 minutes).  I’m assured that everything was normal.

Dr. Duper sits down and has a conversation with us all.  She lets me know that I am not to blame.  I shouldn’t feel guilty(which I usually don’t).  She asks the girls if they are being bullied or abused.  The children say NOoooo in unison.  They are asked why they think that they are overweight?  After smirks and averting of the eyes, all we get are shrugs.  Dr. Duper tells them that we all may have made bad choices, but we are here to make changes.  She asks the girls if they are willing to follow what the Nutritionist(Dun, Dun, Dunnnnnn) has instructed.  They, of course, say yes.

Dr. Duper lets us know that it won’t be easy. It may not be fun.  It will be an uphill battle, but we should trust her.  Dr. Duper lets me know that there are a few places, affiliated with the clinic, that the girls can work out for free.  We look over the list and decide that this might actually work.  She tells me to buy a scale and let the girls monitor their own weight.  I should not ask them to get on the scale.  I should not be over their shoulder, while they’re on it.  This is not a finger pointing exercise.  We’re not trying to create eating disorders, she says.  We’re trying to allow them to have some control in this situation.  We’re expected back in a month, with some sort of progress.

Talk about pressure!!

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I take the day off from work for this appointment.  It is pouring out! I mean cats, dogs, and giraffes, pouring!  We’re all unusually quiet as we take the elevator up to the sixth floor.  When we exit, we immediately see the sign for the clinic.  After filling out a few forms, we do the usual: weight, height, blood pressure. Chanei, my oldest child, goes first.  Blood pressure is normal.  At 5’4″ she is a tall 13 year old.  She steps on the scale and the doctors look at me.  Chanei weighs 223lbs.  Next up is Chloe.  Blood pressure, again, is normal.  At 10yrs old, Chloe weighs a shocking 140lbs.

After their vitals are noted, we’re placed in a waiting room.  The waiting room is filled with what appears to me to be moderately overweight children.  All are of African American or Hispanic descent.  Minorities. We wait for about a half hour.  Still not much is being said between us. When we are called, we’re ushered into a little tiny office.  We are introduced to Mrs. So and So, the Nutritionist(Dun, Dun, Dunnnnnn).  The Nutritionist(Dun, Dun,Dunnnnnn), proceeds to question me about their birth weight (6lbs5oz & 6lbs13oz respectively), eating habits, physical activity, and the like.   After I give her what are well thought out, meaningful responses, she turns to my well behaved, reserved little girls.  She asks them about their eating habits, their physical activity, if their being bullied, abused or neglected.  These two raggedy head articulate little girls proceed to tell the Nutritionist(Dun, Dun Dunnnnnn) that I never cook a hot meal.  The only time they eat vegetables is when their Granddaddy cooks it. FOR SUNDAY DINNER!  RUDE!! Imagine throwing me under the bus like that.

The Nutritionist(Dun, Dun, I’m sorry, no more) shows THEM what serving sizes should look like.  They are taught how to read labels. Told what they should and should not eat and drink.  Chloe, for instance, should stay away from bread because her Triglycerides are way too high.  They receive the information very well and seem interested.

All in all our first stop at the Obesity Clinic turned out well.  If you don’t count the whole “Throw Mama Under the Bus” episode!

Next stop Cardiology!

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